Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
