either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
