And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
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I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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