I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
