In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
