you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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