So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
