Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
