So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
