Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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