But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Pants are for mortals
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
