i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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