Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
