If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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