Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
