I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
