The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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