After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize