dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize