he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
