yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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