His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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