I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
