I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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