She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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