this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
