walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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