How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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