Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
