fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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