i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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