I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
