sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
