you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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