Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
