dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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