what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart