I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?