I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name