Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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(405): I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat. http://tfl.nu/2u5h

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Are you okay?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.

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(908): Are you okay? (508): Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry. http://tfl.nu/ztu1

Replies (19) Good night (3173) Bad night (559)
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(802): View more from Vermont

he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye

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(802): he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye http://tfl.nu/p3ay

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.

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(320): I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me. http://tfl.nu/008l

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(732): View more from New Jersey

doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.

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(732): doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn. http://tfl.nu/3kzi

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.

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(506): I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer? (902): the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka. http://tfl.nu/rxlv

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(614): View more from Ohio

halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'

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(614): halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday' http://tfl.nu/p489

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(647): View more from Ontario

she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'

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(647): she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready' http://tfl.nu/8jmk

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(919): View more from North Carolina

so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?

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(919): so are you any less fat since you started doing blow? http://tfl.nu/jikm

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(530): View more from California

Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine

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(530): Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine http://tfl.nu/asqo

Replies (36) Good night (2055) Bad night (4008) Order T-Shirt
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.

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(814): I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos. http://tfl.nu/dk8h

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.

(765): View more from Indiana

yay hump day

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(812): Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra. (765): yay hump day http://tfl.nu/qbqw

Replies (7) Good night (2055) Bad night (497)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.

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(919): Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him. http://tfl.nu/jzxh

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(615): View more from Tennessee

May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn

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(615): May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn http://tfl.nu/hucd

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.

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(603): I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy. http://tfl.nu/wb79

Replies (2) Good night (674) Bad night (419)

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