I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you