I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
