can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
