it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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