Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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