His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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