Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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