If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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