it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
