Your face is a jimmy john
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
