I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
