Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
