I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
