i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
