My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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