This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
