Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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