ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
