Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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