wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Sext me about skeletons
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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