Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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