does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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