I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
