she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
