Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just high enough for therapy.
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Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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