Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
