I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
