His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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