I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
