so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm gonna fight the coyote
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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